Rest in peace, Harriet

My daughter lost her pet hamster to the ravages of old age some time back. Harriet lived about 50 percent longer than the average life expectancy for her breed.

It is a horrible, helpless feeling when your children hurt and nothing you can do will make them feel better. Never is this scene more poignantly played out than when a child loses a pet.

Children ‘fall in love’ with their pets quickly and deeply. Parents hold their breath when they bring a new pet home; we all know too well that eventually we will have to deal with an animal’s mortality and all that entails.

So why on earth would we put our children in the position to experience such devastation? Because by about age five, the lessons associated with pet ownership, and even loss, are too incredibly valuable to be overlooked.

Teaching our children how to care for pets underscores another creature’s vulnerability and complete dependency upon the people appointed to care for them. We teach them how to feed, clean, provide medical attention and display affection toward their pets. We quickly correct any dereliction in duty by associating their responsibility toward the animal with our responsibility for them? ‘What if I forgot to feed you all day?’

But the pets themselves teach children lessons we parents will never duplicate.

Pets teach children to anticipate their needs, forcing them to formulate some semblance of reliability.

Pets teach children to be thoughtful and considerate of others around them.

Pets teach children the concept of unconditional love, because no matter how many times they screw up, most pets instantly forgive and forget.

Pets teach children how to earn trust.

Pets teach children empathy for others’ losses.

Pets teach children funereal decorum.

Pets teach children that life goes on.

Parents learn lessons from their children’s pets they never learned from their own, lessons such as how to help their child to mourn and survive grief. Pets teach parents how deeply their children are capable of feeling, a fact we frequently forget.

Children teach parents how to bounce back from the pain of loss.

Harriet lived as fulfilling a captive life as can be had. She was spoiled rotten with love and attention. She is survived by Annie (a Russian tortoise), aquatic frogs Al and Spaz, Al’s and Spaz’s plecostramus, Shtinky Turtle, Nik Botticelli (the cat), Bunns (a rabbit) and several goldfish. Some of us have a lot of breath-holding yet to do.

Rest in peace, Harriet. You are missed.

Reprinted courtesy Eagle Newspapers, Syracuse, New York.